The Real Cost of Your Office Romance

Imagine this: work has become particularly stressful lately; they’ve assigned you a big, important project. You’re spending more and more time at the office and have little time to socialise with anyone but your colleagues. Of course it isn’t all doom and gloom when you’re working those late nights with that colleague you’ve smiled at on more than one occasion in the lifts…  It’s understandable with such close proximities and relying upon each other for company if your heart starts to flutter and your mind starts to wander. One big question remains: is it worth it or will you have HR sending emails instead of your crush?

Relationships can be tricky but made even tougher when it’s with a colleague, Rachel Shackleton, 26, CPF Administrator for the conservative party, has seen what can happen when things develop with a co-worker crush:  “It started at someone’s leaving drinks. One of our colleagues was leaving and the obligatory “let’s go for one to say good bye” turned into quite a few more. He offered to walk me to my station and at first I thought it was just a drunken kiss due to the several cocktails we’d inhaled, but it led to exchanging numbers. It should have stayed at a drunken pass but it didn’t unfortunately.

“After a year of back and forth, not sure what was going on, I decided to call it quits. It was distracting me from my work; I was constantly checking emails to see if he’d sent anything. I know not everyone would have these problems but I learned that even after you call it off you still have to see them every single day. I still have to have that awkward accidental meeting in the kitchen from time to time. I will never consider having a relationship at work again!“

Vault.com released their 2014 Office Romance Survey results and found of 1,864 employees who responded 56% said they had some form of office romance with a co-worker and 39% said they had avoided any romantic situations. Vault.com said “In recent years, our data has shown the concept of workplace romances gradually becoming more acceptable among survey respondents”. When they broke down the results to find the differences between genders they found of those surveyed 19% of men have had “random hook ups” with co-workers and 17% of women had “long-term relationships” from co-worker romances.

Shackleton adds: “I would advise anyone thinking about starting something with someone they work with not to, or at least really weigh up the pros and cons. I mean, as fun and exciting as it is at the time, there are more problems if it all goes wrong.”

Wondering how these affairs begin? CareerBuilder found of the 3,000 full-time employees surveyed 12% of those asked said happy hour, 10% said late nights at work, 10% said having lunch together and for those die-hard romantics, 9% said love at first sight.

Life coach and author of The Sexy Beast Project, Aisha Amore, says, “I think it's a bad idea to do what is referred to as mixing business with pleasure. The workplace is already challenging enough when you're trying to be productive, climb the ladder and enjoy your day. Adding another element to the mix can be stressful and if things go wrong there's nowhere to run because the guy is there for you to rub elbows with all day. That can become quite annoying and distracting. Of course it would be exciting and a little bit… naughty but there can be serious implications as well.”

Whilst it may be all chocolates, flowers and filing cabinets during the ‘honeymoon stage’, the end result may not be so sweet. Not only can office romances be costly to the couple involved and their co-workers if things go south, it can also cost businesses thousands. A survey conducted by IllicitEncounters.com and NotatWork.co.uk asked both employees and businesses “Are Office Romances a Good Idea?” and found that of the 200 business who responded, the average cost to each business from issues relating to office romances was over £65,000, totalling in excess of £13 million. The potential costs which result from romantic affairs coming from sexual harassment suits, unfair dismissal claims and discrimination to name but a few. Despite such high numbers the survey found that 74% of businesses did not have any morality clauses in their contracts forbidding co-worker fraternising to stop such expenses.

“I don’t think there is anything wrong with dating someone you work with. I’ve been happily dating my co-worker for about 7 months now. Just because it’s in the office it doesn’t mean it’ll be anything different to any other relationship. Don’t just rush in to it as there can be problems if the company doesn’t like it and stuff but if you have genuine feelings for someone then it shouldn’t be an issue that you work together,” said Max Ryan, 22, HSC Installations, “I actually found it was easy to maintain work and having a girlfriend; you can go to lunch together and share a cab home after work drinks and if you have a bad day you can moan to them and they will understand because they work there too.”

Amore adds, “There's nothing wrong with flirting or going out for happy hour with your work crush but to do any serious dating is asking for drama. Guys are everywhere, choose someone in another office. It will keep things from getting messy. Whatever you choose to do, always make sure you check your contract for any signs you may be at risk of losing your job should you choose to become romantically involved with a colleague.”

In spite of some work place romances turning sour, Vault.com found of those who had participated in previous trysts 70% of men and 62% of women surveyed said they’d be interested in another office love affair. Are you tempted to ask your office crush for happy hour drinks now?