Motherhood vs Career

What age do you want to start a family? Do you want to have a career then start a family? Or would you rather be a young mum? Nature suggests women will want a child at some point in their lives but when is the right time? Is there a right time?

Statistics show women in the UK are having children later in life. This could be due to women wanting to start careers and delaying their families. Equally, it could be due to women are able to have children later due to advancements in fertility treatment. A recent survey showed that thirty is the average age for a woman in the UK to have her first child. This means the average age has risen by four years since 1970.

Victoria Sharp is a recent university graduate just like you. The 22-year-old said she did not want children in the foreseeable future because she wants to start her career and think about having children once she has settled. The ambitious lawyer said, “For now I’m living with my parents but I am looking to move out soon. I couldn’t imagine having children yet because I can’t afford children right now and I don’t want to have studied for my degree just to have a child straight after graduating.”

The Chingford native said she wants children when she’s thirty, “So many of my friends have had children already and most of them have put their life on hold until their child is older. I don’t want that. I want to start my career.”

Victoria said she lives in London and wants to make the most of the opportunities available to her now before she has children. Many of our readers are probably thinking this too.

Miss Sharp’s thoughts are echoed by many young women across the country because more young women have received an education whereas women didn’t have the chance to go to university until the 1920s. Since then, there has been a slow and steady rise in the age a woman had her first child. This is a clear sign of the times changing.

Emily Thorpe, founder of happyworkingmum blog, said, “Some women choose to have their children later when they have established themselves in their career.” She continued, “Your fertility does drop as you get older but you also have experience and maturity to cope as a mum.”

Emily, a mum of two, works part time as an Air Traffic Controller and runs her own blog which gives advice to mums. She said, “It’s definitely possible to have a career and family in tandem but it may require some compromise.” The blogger advised women who were career minded to wait before they started their own family. She said younger women may not be mature enough to cope with the responsibilities of being a mum. The Sussex based mum said it’s a personal choice and there are “pros and cons,” of having children at a young age or having children after starting a career.

“For many women, being stimulated, stretched or being part of a team is what makes them tick and they would not be themselves if they had to stay at home all day,” the working mum said.

Having children at a young age does have benefits in that you are physically capable of looking after a small child and attending to their needs whereas an older mum may find this physically more challenging. However, having a child at an older age also has benefits because you will have had a chance to have a career and time to yourself before children are in the picture.

Both women said this is a personal choice and agree there is no definite age to have a child. Emily, who has experience in being a mother, said about having children, “There will always be something going on or something about to happen. Your life will change; you are responsible for another human being. You’ve just got to go for it and be flexible.”